but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
