What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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