Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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