well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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