well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
