I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
