Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
