So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
As shirtless as possible
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
