More tranny stories later!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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