go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have fence marks all over my body
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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