Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
