Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
