Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize