Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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