The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
