I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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