even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
