As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
