EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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