I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
