the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
