We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
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