I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
vagina is talking i cant
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
