Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
