I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
