Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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