About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
