We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
smell my finger.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
