Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
