Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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