Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
