Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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