My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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