It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
