seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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