Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She announced her abortion via fbk
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Randomize
