you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
