Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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