I'm drive I can fine osifer
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
