Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
