don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize