Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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