Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
