Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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