dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
