just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
