I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
