garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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