"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
