I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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