I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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