my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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