So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
