oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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